Big Awesome Cake: Of Import. And Cake. And Chocolate.

Hello ladies and gents. This post may be slightly depressing and whining, so turn back now or continue and never look back! You've been warned.

I suppose I've been whiney a lot lately. I've been very stressed about my home based bakery (among other things). I barely make any money and I have a difficult time keeping repeat customers. Since I do everything from home and there's no high demand for my business, I have to buy my ingredients for the same price as everyone else. That being said, although I may sell my goods for about the same price as an unnamed grocery store down the road, that unnamed grocery store makes twice as much for a sloppier, less tasty product that IS in high demand. For example, shitty grocery store birthday cake made with hydrogenated oil and absolutely zero natural ingredients. I have to admit, I've gone pretty crazy over store bought chocolate cake. It's just so hard to go wrong with chocolate.

But back to my main point. Seriously? WTF. Shitty, sloppily decorated cake versus a wondrous masterpiece of homemade edible work of art? (I say in a sarcastic tone)

I'm lost with no direction. I will continue baking and decorating because it makes me happy, but I've come to the realization that if I quit, it wouldn't upset the balance of the scales one teeny weeny bit. No one would be sad that they couldn't order delicious confectionary treats from me. No one would pass by my non-existent bakery and say, "Man, I really wish they hadn't closed. They had the best (place random confectionary item name here.)" Basically, myself and everything I've been struggling to accomplish with this bakery thing is all for naught. I learned a lot. I could do things for free for my friends and family, I know everyone wants a piece of that action, but once you put a proper price tag on it people tend to shrivel away. I know that success doesn't come easy. There's always struggle and hardship. I just don't see any silver linings in my horizon.

I just gotta find my niche. My thing that makes me stand out from everyone else.

Now that the ballad of whiney is over, I would like to represent to you all, my latest works of art! I am continuing to improve with fondant. I will still need more practice though. I'm pretty happy with these, and now that I have a better steamer for my cakes, I won't have anymore issues with corn starch showing up on my fondant. For those that don't already know, steam makes fondant shiny and gets rid of all those little bits of corn starch on fondant. Just as a hair dryer does to modeling chocolate!

I shall now present, my latest confectionary masterpieces!

This first cake was for a wonderful masseuse's birthday. He requested a massage table, someone on the table, and a person standing up like they were about to give a massage. When talking to the customer, I remembered a joke he told me about his friends picking on him for having to massage "old, fat guys." I decided to give him a heavy set hairy man to massage. Let me reveal the awesomeness of this cake (besides it being a decadent strawberry-filled lemon cake with lemon buttercream.) 1. The blanket comes off to show a fat, hairy booty. 2. The table is made of Rice Krispy treats!

The second cake was a definite challenge for me, as I had to cut every single square by hand with a pizza cutter and a measuring fondant mat. I have a rotary cutter that is supposed to cut strips of fondant to a certain length, but of course that didn't work. That would just be wayyy too easy on me. Either way, I worked hard and tried to keep myself from being a complete perfectionist and I'm happy with how the cake turned out. Decadent chocolate icing upon decadent chocolate cake. It's freakin' decadent. (I should rename this blog *Chocolate* because I can't seem to refrain myself from discussing my fondness for chocolate cake.